I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
