He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
