There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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