i just wanna soil my oats bro
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize
