In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
