it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
