do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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