When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
