Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
