I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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