Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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