i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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