Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
