Me too!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
