You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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