And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
