I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
