At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
