i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
