Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
