Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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