All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
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It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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