Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Your dad touched me again.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When are your genitals available?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
