I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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