I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
