Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He passed out mid-signature
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
