after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
