i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Dicks are not precious.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
