So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
