Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
someone threw a dead crab at me
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
