I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
