i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
