DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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