I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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