he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
