Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
