Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
