happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
