after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
