drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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