Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Your face is a jimmy john

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  (650): Your face is a jimmy john http://tfl.nu/p2et
  Replies (7) Good night (770) Bad night (893)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting

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  (847): I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting http://tfl.nu/4np3
  Replies (1) Good night (904) Bad night (490)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?

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  (313): ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too? http://tfl.nu/07vv
  Replies (67) Good night (593) Bad night (2592)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.

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  (504): You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil. http://tfl.nu/478n
  Replies (28) Good night (679) Bad night (6159)
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  (845): View more from New York

  So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.

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  (845): So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation. http://tfl.nu/fvna
  Replies (21) Good night (9927) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (+48): View more from Poland

  there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover

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  (+48): there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover http://tfl.nu/ynqc
  Replies (13) Good night (1050) Bad night (3170)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight

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  (770): Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight http://tfl.nu/pi0o
  Replies (5) Good night (1512) Bad night (646)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face

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  (215): Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face http://tfl.nu/pn9h
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.

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  (209): His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant. http://tfl.nu/4fo7
  Replies (9) Good night (1343) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.

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  (630): I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver. http://tfl.nu/scdz
  Replies (5) Good night (909) Bad night (445)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.

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  (704): At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you. http://tfl.nu/lr4p
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (243)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....

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  (479): You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging.... http://tfl.nu/it7p
  Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (512)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?

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  (303): Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real? http://tfl.nu/o1yr
  Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (47): View more from Norway

  Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van

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  (47): Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van http://tfl.nu/ihe8
  Replies (2) Good night (234) Bad night (164)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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  (716): I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/a3ri
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (152)

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