meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
me + whiskey = a bad person
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..