they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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