Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
