drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
