well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize