worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
