And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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