Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
