I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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