My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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