I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
