I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
