I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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