literally had 100 drinks last night.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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