i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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