OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize