I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
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whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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