she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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