Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
