Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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